I give up
by SnowRider14
Summary: Tsuruga Ren declares he is giving up... or so he says. First fic. Re-edited doesn't mean I am satisfied tho.


Disclaimer: I do not own Skip beat. End of line.

At the beginning, Ms Mogami and I never played this game. We started by becoming mutual friends during childhood to end up as enemies for awhile until we re-established that long lost friendship. But now, things have changed and I can't move backwards and undo what has come undone, these feelings that I have come to realize were much deeper than friendship. How did it all begin I always wondered, all I know was that the day the chicken convinced me of love, I have sunken rock bottom. Then again there was also Yashiro my manager with his entire fan girl screaming. I know that if I had said it was a psychologist or a doctor perhaps something that says 'certified to diagnose', you would find it more believable, however this chicken was very convincing and I have the utter most trust in his opinions, not that I didn't trust Yashiro. So here we stand, Ms Mogami as the woman I fell in love with and me, the infamous Tsuruga Ren, a man capable to get women on their knees is now helplessly on his own knees for her.

Ms Mogami never realized we were playing the game I guess, but that is how the game goes isn't it? I chase after her shadows in hope she would turn around and see me in the whole different light I have been under recently. Yet what infuriates me is the living fact that Ms Mogami sees Fuwa Shou in the road ahead, and she is determined to walk ahead and not look back. She has turned her back at love and swore never to see it anymore, thus even if she did turn and see me, she would not be able to see the light I carry, because she has turned blind towards its warm rays. But that doesn't mean I was ready either, but I was utterly powerless against the need to be recognised. She probably does notice or take the hint when I show her some of my affection, yet as I have seen from her actions I would rather like to believe she hasn't or else this was the worst kind of rejection I have ever happened to come across.

When I went all the way to the site of the shoot a day earlier than scheduled, and the fact that I squeezed everything I had to do for the day a day earlier just to arrive. Ms Mogami thinks it was purely friendship wise. I would really love to think so too, but I couldn't lie to myself. From the moment I heard her deeply shaken voice, I desired to be by her side and keep her safe under my watch. To think Shou was there took me a lot of effort not to grind my teeth and attack the man the moment I laid eyes on his sorry face. I stood to my pride as an actor and my grace as my mask tightly wrapped on my face. On Valentine's Day I gave her a kiss on the cheek because my mind was consumed with images of Shou kissing her… I was lucky I was a decent actor, or else Showa would have kissed the deeper parts of earth and never resurface again. However because I felt guilty I gave her a half-baked excuse for the sake of her acting and her own self. She saw me naked, funny no? She stares nowhere and did not even blush at the sight. Usually women would have swooned and blushed and even scream, which makes my ears fall off, but deep inside of me, I wanted her to react. Even if it was for a brief moment, I wanted to see her blush because of me.

So what leads to this certain predicament, why did I talk about all this all of the sudden. That is because I am standing here thinking to myself, will she ever see me in the way I see her? 'Ms Mogami will never see me that way' that has recently been ramming my head and laughing at me. Perhaps I should… give up?  
"Tsuruga-san… Let's go grab a bite huh?"  
A very sexy woman rubbed her body against mine as my mind was still very far away from my body and my body disliked this woman's touch as I feel uncomfortable, but never breaking from my gentlemanly behaviour.  
Give up… Perhaps I should go out with another woman just to forget her…  
The woman beside me is really starting to disrupt my train of thoughts… how bothersome of her to do such a thing, and a very unprofessional way of behaving in front of her fellow actors.  
"Sorry, I have more urgent things to do…"  
I should stop chasing, I really give up. I am going to go date a girl to remove Mogami from my mind.  
"Ren, you honestly seemed really preoccupied since you have just upset the world's most beautiful woman Fuchsia, well I guess a man in love with another can't see that beauty."  
My nosy manager has pestered me of Ms Mogami for eons now, his nose is longer than Pinocchio can ever achieve. I suddenly stop dead on my tracks, did I just walked pass an advance by the world's most gorgeous woman just as I resolved to date other woman just to forget and give up on Ms Mogami? How ironic can I get? My body is definitely betraying me.

"I decided to give up Yashiro-san, after all, Ms Mogami deserves better…"  
My manager gave me an incredulous look as if asking me if I was being stupid. I laughed inwardly in a bitter way because I knew that I have been stupid ever since I met her. My body and my mind and my heart always have wars with each other, making my behaviour incoherent. She always thinks I am weird at moments in time, she is lucky the man who is in love with her, is an actor. He can fully deny it and behave that way, but inwardly it knows it was a lie. Internally I feel childish, vulnerable and destructive… A bomb ticking away filled with underwater emotions.

"Ren, you are the most ELIGIBLE BACHELOR in the whole world mind you…"  
I smiled kindly at his comment, but personally the only eligible bachelor I want to be is the one that would appear on her top list… hers and nobody else's, and that is if she even bothered to have a list that is. Fine if my body was going to deny my resolve, I will just have to take even more drastic measures to get out of this game I started. An idea came to me and it took hold of my thoughts making it my all new resolve and that was to never see her again, not for awhile until these feelings evaporate. Perhaps it may take 100 years but I shall stop this pursuit…  
"Hey Ren, look! It's Kyoko! How strange, she is talking to Fuwa Shou at moment."  
My body is a hopeless romantic, a slave and the most stubborn part of my entirety to survive. My eyes had already locked her into sight, drinking it in as my aura grilled my manager as I built it up hoping to throw this ball of inferno right at that sore sight of a man. My legs walking towards Ms Mogami along with my manager strutting with me like an arrogant lackey as we pretended to walk down the area allowing her to catch me.

"Tsuruga-san!"  
Inside my body there is a fiesta, outside was a very calm and understanding man. I bowed to her as well and smiled humouredly, secretly savouring her attention and his glare. Life was sweet only in the cruellest way. I swore never to see her again, I swore to never love her or avoid her until the tide goes out. I thought to have a girlfriend and yet I turned Fuchsia down. I frowned and I believed perhaps I was hopeless. A man like me brought to my own knees only to stand here to love her, and can't gain hers in return no matter how hard I try to attain it.  
"Tsuruga-san… I thought I wanted to give this to you…"  
She uncurled her fingers revealing the present she wanted to give me… There was a nicely wrapped box, judging from the size of the box I am to assume either a tie or probably a wristwatch. The rather like to believe it was a tie because she knows I have a watch. I gazed at her as she smiled brightly before shoving a small letter into my hands while I was in a daze. I wondered why in the world did she do this, pondering the question I bowed as she excused herself to go to her next shoot, I stood there allowing Shou to continue to glare at me as if he'd like to kill me. I knew today it was my victory, for the manager was having one of those weird phases, such a girl squealing and starry eyes. Honestly the man should get himself a girlfriend perhaps that would drive him off his track. So it wasn't my hallucination, she did blush and then quickly excused herself, that would explain the glare and Yashiro's 'You guys are definitely made for each other' look. Shou, realizing there was no use standing and glaring declared.  
"Kyoko will never see you in the same light as she sees me."  
I smiled this time from the bottom of my heart, I had the best comeback that would not only send Shou scowling but assured my heart.  
"That's good news. I don't want to be seen in your light."

As predicted he scowled and walked away looking for some poor soul to kill. I walked with my manager eager to see what she said, whereas I slipped the gift and the note into my bag and keeping eye contact with my manager saying  
"I do not like my things touched."  
I arrived home later that night as I dropped my keys onto the table as I removed her gifts from my bag as I was filled with curiosity, when does she ever give presents without a reason? It wasn't Christmas, nor was it someone's birthday. So why the present as I delicately un-wrapped the present more questions popped into my head, why did she give me the present and especially a watch, does she know? I gripped my wrist as I gently unfold the piece of paper. With my eyes scanning the letter over and over again, the piece of paper slipped out of my hands and fell down onto the floor. But I made no attempt to grab it, because I have just read the content… it wrote...  
_Dear Tsuruga-san,_

_I bet you were wondering why I would give you a present and a watch at that. I was just trying to show you… that my heart is defrosting ever since I entered acting and I slowly learnt to get the time going once more. I noticed that your watch as stopped time, I was hoping that perhaps with buying you this watch and letting you know, my time is beginning to move once more, would make you feel happier. _

_Always waiting,_

_Kyoko Mogami_

I smiled as I picked up the paper as I gently took my watch off and attached her ticking watch… I heaved a deep sigh and closed my eyes. I wrapped myself up with those words… Perhaps giving up isn't the best idea. Perhaps it's my turn to have my time start to move once more. It is time to place the past behind me and be brave for once. I will start my bigger steps tomorrow when I ask her about this letter and perhaps give her a kiss… this time on the lips. And I do not intend to explain myself.


End file.
